Reluctant King
by Mystery of the Emblem
Summary: King was not a title Kurthnaga expected to have. When things get too hard, he turns to the one person he could lean on, even if he isn't truly there.


**As I was writing another fic, the idea for this just kind of popped right into my head. In a way, I kind of feel like this is a companion fic to another fic of mine, Siblings. Though I loved, and originally wrote a gentle nod to a daughter, Gareth's ending mentions the king's new nephew, so I changed it. It is the only change I made, everything else is the same.**

* * *

It was foolish, King Kurthnaga knew that, but this was something he needed to do. In fact, it was probably something he should have done a long time before. Perhaps he could have waited until night, but it was morning. He had not even eaten breakfast yet.

His footsteps were quick as he hurried through the castle. Though he held his cloak close to his body, more for comfort than warmth, his head was bare. The crown he had inherited was still in his bedchambers.

The crown, or really the title of king itself, was the cause of his distress. His father had died fighting for the goddess Ashera, and the title became his. He needed to be strong and lead his people. But he did not feel strong.

After his father's death, and the goddess's defeat, the late King Dheginsea's body was returned to Goldoa and he was buried with the rest of his family.

But it was not to his father he was heading.

Kurthnaga's footsteps slowed as he entered the well maintained cemetery. He had not been out there in years. A lump formed in his throat. He swallowed hard as he stepped deeper into the graves.

The one he sought was near his father's He approached it and placed a hand on the stone, letting his touch linger for a moment before he removed the cloak he wore. He spread it on the ground and sank down on it. He rested his back against the cool stone and shut his eyes.

Though he longed to hear his brother's voice again, and sought out his comfort, Kurthnaga was suddenly at a loss for words. He swallowed again and again and sniffled once or twice as he did. His father's words rang in his ears. _Stop sniveling._ But he could not.

"It should be you," Kurthnaga finally managed to whisper.

He wiped the back of his hand across his face, but it did not stop the tears from falling.

"I wasn't born to be the king," he whispered, his voice breaking. "I don't even know what I'm supposed to _do,_ but everyone is looking at me like I should."

His father never took the time to really teach Kurthnaga to follow in his footsteps. In a way, Kurth was grateful. He did not want to continue to shut the dragons away from the rest of the world. Traveling to the Tower of Guidance had been an experience he never would have had if he had not rushed to his sister's aid. He saw things he had never seen before, met people, beorc and laguz alike, he never would have if he had followed in his father's steps and stayed behind.

But in another way, he was not as versed in kingly behavior. He had been taught how to be a _prince,_ to be polite and proper, educated and well behaved, but not how to _rule._ It should have been something his father did after Rajaion's death, but the king never really got around to it. Kurthnaga held the secret feeling that it was over the grief of his loss, something that King Dheginsea did not show.

 _"You_ were," he whispered to the grave. "You were supposed to be Goldoa's big, strong, brave king. Charismatic and wise... and I was supposed to be Prince Kurth."

He sighed. He was not alone by any means. He has Nasir and Gareth, and even Ena, his brother's betrothed, who was almost like a sister to him, and more of an advisor than anyone else on his side.

But _almost a sister_ was not the same as having a brother.

He bit his lip in an effort to stop crying. Rajaion would have allowed him to cry until he could not anymore, then given him some comforting words to cheer him up. He would have him hold his head up high and face his subjects without tears.

But Rajaion was not there. And if he was, _he_ would be the one facing the dragon tribes.

"I'm not blaming you," Kurthnaga said. He stared down at his hands, folded neatly in his lap. A tear slid down his cheek and landed on them. He reached up to his face clean again. "I just really need you right now."

Even Ena did not understand his feelings. He thought she would have some sort of idea. But it was different for the two of them. She missed Rajaion as a lover, he as a brother. And though she had told him that her son was like having a part of his brother with them at all times, he did not feel that way.

He loved his nephew, he adored the little dragon prince, but he caused him to feel both grief, over the fact that he would never know his father, and guilt. Had he known Ena was pregnant, Kurth would have done everything in his power to force her back to Goldoa instead of traveling with him to face the goddess.

As he wept, he did not realize he was no longer alone. Ena thought of leaving him to his grief, but people were looking for him and starting to worry. With reluctance, she stepped closer to him.

"Kurth."

He looked up in surprise. "E - Ena."

She smiled sadly and said, "I should have known this is where you would have come. I have had six people ask me where you are." She walked to his side and knelt by him. She handed him a handkerchief, which he took but did not use it immediately.

"Why is everyone looking for me?"

"Well, everyone thought you were asleep, but your room was empty. And a missing king is going to cause a panic."

"I'm not missing," Kurthnaga insisted as he wiped his face. He still sniffled and whimpered, but he was almost able to control his tears.

Ena's smile became a more joyful one. "I know." She rested her hand against the stone as Kurth had done earlier. "And I know Rajaion would be proud of you. You have a soft and gentle nature, but you do have what it takes to rule. Just trust in yourself. And he will always be here. If you need him, I will make sure no one disturbs you."

Kurthnaga nodded, too afraid to speak for fear he would start crying again. He rose to his feet, not quite ready to leave, but he had to calm the palace down with his presence. As he helped Ena to her feet, he whispered, "Thank you."


End file.
